Experiment #15837

I'm on here less and less and it's not just me anymore. My reason for signing onto LJ has diminished bit by bit over the years. I've stopped posting, you've stopped posting.

So I think it's time for the official exodus.

Thanks to all my friends who've followed my pointless ramblings over the years. If you wish to continue following, join me over on Facebook, or e-mail: garfunkeless@gmail.com

So long, and thanks for all the fish,
Liz

So.

It appears that I have a new nickname: Pirate Gecko.

Why? Because I am a "Little Liz-AAARRRD!" (You have to say "Ard" in a pirate-y voice.) ...Thanks, Ben.

Also, I might be agreeing to go out to the Conquest next January 10th for an automation contract. I haven't agreed to it yet, so we'll see. Megan this might postpone England plans, and Tiffany, have you and Robert picked a date yet? I need to start scheduling things.

I don't know if I want to continue with Carnival, but if they put me in Automation they're essentially paying me to train me in a highly marketable and specialized skill. It would make a lot of door open for me if I want to continue with it. On the other hand, it opens a certain TYPE of door, one which I'm not sure I want to follow, as it would essentially determine my career path for the next five years. If I want to turn away from that, now is the time.

Of course, door with "Automation" on them mean I don't have to worry about going hungry or trying to support myself with three jobs to continue to do the theatre I want to. Choices, choices.

...At least I know that whatever decision I make about my future career I know that I will be the only one truly affected by it. There's a tiny bit of solace in that.

I feel I am either bombarded with lots of mail, or completely bereft of it. Last week I had lots of mail. This week I am constantly checking an empty box.

I still don't know what's going on this fall. Theatre Charlotte has expressed interest in having me stage manage (well, sort of...) but they can only pay gas money and/or indentured servitude costs. Still, working in my desired field doing the type of work I like sure beats the hell out of going back into retail to stay home for the holidays. And in January? Mark Mistal in the office agreed to let me learn automation, but right now the only ship open is the Conquest, which no female tech can handle because the load-in is so intense... So we're back to square one.

Still, even if I sign off in August without a job lined up (please oh please postpone my ticket to the 24th like you said you would, Carnival!) there's a theatre conference in Charlotte I could pimp my resume out to. So, there are other possibilities.

Keep your fingers crossed for this Theatre Charlotte opportunity, though. I could really use a job at home in Charlotte for a couple months. Same fingers crossed for an automation opening in January. It'd be worth going back to Carnival if I could learn a new position. I just hope it all works out for the best.

I hate living my life in limbo.

My roommate is currently losing Mario Kart. Loudly. It's really funny, I do love her.

Dinner time in a minute, but I wanted to drop a note and ask WHERE IS EVERYONE LATELY? Seems like everyone's busy. Life's falling into a routine around here, even with cast change. Ian's been a sweetheart and has arranged time for us to escape from rehearsals and enjoy the ports, which we've all appreciated. Last week we royally screwed up the show we're performing tonight, but we've been practicing and I've got a good feeling about how the show is going to go tonight.

Called my Dad to say that I may not quit after all, since it's been a good cruise thus far. Oh! And my mom's going to be visiting me in port on Monday with my aunt and uncle! I'm really really really looking forward to it. I do miss my parents an awful lot.

Time is flying this week; we leave for NY in less than two weeks!!! (I'm very excited about this.)

Also, it's pretty difficult to research jobs on land when the internet connection here is so finnicky. I've been trying to look into theatres in cities where there are also hanggliding parks, but it's slow going. I'm going to start by looking for ones on the east coast. I don't know if this will be my last contract with Carnival or not... depends on a lot of things. Right now this job pays the bills and allows me not to take on additional expenses like food, or gas or housing, so I'm not ready to leave it just yet.

Doesn't mean I can't still look around, though, which is what I'm trying to do.

I miss you all, and if you are reading this, you (Yes, YOU!) need to send me an e-mail when you get a chance.

Right. Dinner time.

Quote of the day:

"When they give you lined paper, write the other way."

I had heard this was a Ray Bradbury quote from 451, but I think he might have just sited it, and the original author is William Carlos Williams.

Erin, have you ever heard the song "Gravity" by Sara Bareilles? I like it a lot, it's a great piano piece. I like the words too. When I'm feeling better I'm going to try to send a mix CD along with a care package for you, so hopefully you'll get it for Valentine's Day.

Man, I feel like complete crap right now. My stomach is killing me. I can't handle really powerful pain meds, and this Vicodin feels like it's ripping up the lining on my stomach. Blech. I can't tell if I want to pass out or throw up or what. It's like being hung over without the headache. Seriously.

My mouth isn't really hurting because of the medicine, but it's the medicine that's wreaking havoc on my stomach and making me feel rough.

I'm not really in the mood to talk much, lately. But I have this song running through my head lately that sort of sums up my mood.

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start

You ever get those lyrics stuck in your head? When you're thinking of something and then a song pops in with a line that just sings what you were thinking? That's where this song comes in. For me.

I like LiveJournal because I like seeing what's going on in my friends' lives, but I'm finding less and less use for it because I feel like I have nothing to contribue. Not that there isn't anything for me to say, it's just that I feel like saying less and less and I'm sort of withdrawing into myself rather than sharing with anyone. It seems I'd rather write letters or meet people for coffee or just sit in my room drawing or painting rather than journaling, even to myself.

I find that with coming back to a house full of memories there's less and less I really want to remember about my former self, and any mementos of my life I'm resentful of, and I feel like it's holding me back from moving forward. There's just less and less in my life that I really want to remember. I say this because when the year passed I looked back on old journal entries and realized how much I forgot: the endless parade of job hunting and homework for the evil Children's Lit class and how much of it I really wanted to remember: none of it. I didn't want to remember how much crap I had gone through my last semester or how I spent my months before Carnival. Hell, I didn't even get into the entries detailing the first months on the Freedom because I certainly didn't want to remember how alone and inadequate I felt.

So what's the point of journaling anymore? I used to journal because I was so afraid of forgetting my past, where I came from, what made me who I am today... now I feel like everything I see in my room, every piece of clothing, every scrap of paper weighs me down with a thousand memories I'd rather forget just so I can move on and not have this much extra baggage to carry around with me...

"How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!" -Alexander Pope

12-25-08

This is the best Christmas I’ve had in a really long time. My parents signed on the ship on the 20th so they’ve been here on my ship with me for the past five days. I’ve seen them off and on but I’ve definitely been to dinner in the guest dining room every day this cruise. (Except for yesterday, but that has to do with the fact that we had a long load-in for the production show last night and Adam hadn’t seen that show at all yet.) It’s been great having them here, and we’ve been opening a Christmas gift every night leading up to today. Mom laughed and said it feels like Hanukkah with gifts every night.

I got the idea because A.) I really wanted to see them start opening the gifts I bought in Europe and B.) we’ve done Secret Santa with the dancers, hosts, and a few techs and musicians (myself included). We did it as the twelve days of Christmas leading up to the Big Gift today so we’ve been sneaking around giving each other little presents over the days. I got lots of candy and some herbal tea. It’s been fun delivering and trying to guess and hearing what other people have given and gotten. Tonight’s the big night where we all sit in a circle and try to guess who has been giving us presents this whole time. If we guess correctly we get to open our present.

Last night was an awesome day too. We were in Limon, Costa Rica and I went out around noon and got some lunch with one of the stagehands who works the production shows. He went Christmas shopping for “his family” but it turned out he was getting presents for me and for Michelle, my roommate. (She’s the automation tech who replaced Julie when Julie left.) I got a St. Bernard stuffed animal and Michelle got… well, also a stuffed animal but it’s like three cubes in a row that are very Japanese-like. We did the show and then had Tech Christmas. All the techs decided to get each other something (Dave couldn’t get off the ship to buy presents since he was on port manning) and we gave each other everything around midnight last night. From Michelle I got Victoria Secret body spray, from Adam I got candy cane shot glasses (as in, shot glasses made of candy canes, not just painted), and from Mariano I got a cymbal monkey. …It’s sort of a running joke that Dave always gets people cymbal monkeys for Christmas so I think that’s where he got the idea. My gift went over really well too: I got all four of them Nerf guns that shoot the suction cup darts and extra ammo. Mariano and Michelle were racing each other to be the first to open theirs so they could open fire on each other. For the next hour or so we were all running up and down the halls shooting each other with these things. Mariano also got ping-pong ball guns for himself and Michelle so there were Nerf darts and ping pong balls flying every which way down the halls accompanied to “Where the hell are all my balls?” “Who’s got my balls?” whenever someone needed to reload.

We were going to the bar, but it was really loud and crowded last night so Michelle and Adam and I went looking for my family. We found my Mom and my brother upstairs by the 24 hour pizza bar and hung out for awhile with them while Peter played Christmas carols on his harmonica. At about 2am my mother realized that she probably ought to go to bed since they had to be up at 6am the next morning to go on a tour of the Panama canal but we talked her into staying up for another half hour to watch the beginning of “Muppet Christmas Carol”, one of the presents my parents brought me. She left and then Mariano came in from the bar to say Merry Christmas and jump up on Michelle’s bed without the ladder. He sort of landed on my brother’s foot on the way down. Fun times.

As a side note, Michelle and Mariano have never seen “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” and I feel like I need to be asking Dave if he has it on his computer to watch later. At least the soundtrack or *something*.

Mariano and Toli are yelling down the hall for drinks in Mariano’s cabin so I might have to head out and participate. …I can use my shot glasses…

Ok, back. Didn’t use my shot glasses. God it’s great here. It’s awesome to be celebrating Christmas with such a big family. And everyone here is my family. The techs are my family. The dancers are my family. The musicians are my family. I love it here today. Everyone’s so happy and hugging each other and drinking and in a good mood. Nothing against my own family but I’ve never had a Christmas where *everyone* is here in one place and all spending it together. Even at school we go home for Christmas. But here, here it’s different, and it’s nice. It’s like the Thanksgiving at Earl’s place. I’m going to remember this Christmas for years as one of the very best in my life.

I love it today, and I hope that wherever you are your Christmas is just as wonderful. No one remind us that we have to do shows this evening and tonight. (I’ll be in the dining room with my parents…) Tomorrow will be fun too because that’s my very last show night with Adam and then I get to watch the second show from the house because Adam should have it all down. Then the night after that is Supper Club! We’re all going out to eat and have a six course dinner with my parents and it will be all sorts of awesome. Oh yes. Awesome awesome awesome.

I miss you all, but honestly, I’m having a really, really great day right now.

Alright, well, I have three more days before I sign off and head home. Someone alert Charlie that I require transportation on the 28th around 9:30. I hope he’s off of work. I suppose I could always take a taxi or something or call Megan or Chris Box last minute. Hear me, you two? Just so you know.

Right then. Merry Christmas everyone!

11-29-08

Forgive my lack of caps I’m typing with only my left hand right now. Actually I’m typing on word so it’s doing auto caps for me. I hurt my hand last night during the show. Part of a set change involves me pulling half of a VW bug off stage while the singers push it off. Well last night it got a lot of momentum and it ended up running right into the ladder for the perch and crushing my hand. Nothing is broken but my hand is pretty swollen and they put it in a sling so the swelling will go down. It’s not that bad so I should be able to go to work again soon.

So I ran across a show called “legend of the seeker” tonight. Looks like it’s based off the sword of truth books by terry goodkind I was so into at the beginning of this contract. I need to get more of those for when I sign on the miracle. …oh and the tv show doesn’t seem as awesome as the book.

Right so, injured, bored, but at least I got out of the massive big easy tech run without injuring myself badly enough to get sent home. …why do I want to watch ’paranoia agent’ right now? Hmm. I need to go home. One more month before I go home and 3 short weeks til my parents arrive.

Oh I want to be done.

Today is November 5th so I just spent the last two hours watching "V for Vendetta." Always a great movie, especially today of all days.

I did in fact send in an absentee ballot a few weeks ago. Stayed up all night watching the election coverage and I really liked Obama's acceptance speech. I thought he was a brilliant orator. No matter what you believe I hope you can look forward to the future of this country and join me in hoping for the best.

Oh, and tomorrow we start our journey home to the states.

Cheers, mate.

The change, it had to come
We knew it all along
We were liberated from the foe, that's all
And the world looks just the same
And history ain't changed
'Cause the banners, they all flown in the next war

I'll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around me
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
Then I'll get on my knees and pray
We don't get fooled again

-"Won't Get Fooled Again" - The Who

(...Heather and I are on the same wavelength today, apparently.)

10-18-08

I’m feeling meditative tonight. Bear with me. I’m also quite sick right now. Sore throat, stuffed up head, feeling altogether sick sick sick. So I’m sitting down at the crew mess with a hot mug of tea in my hands and I started thinking about how I was also sick two summers ago at Brevard Music Center. I came down with mono and was treated by the famous infamous Voodoo Nurse Rhonda. The one really great thing about Voodoo Nurse Rhonda (my nickname, by the way, although she was actually a nurse) was that she had a constant stocked supply of at least 35 herbal teas on hand for whatever you could possibly need. I became a fan of Echinacea tea (I hope spell check corrected that to the right word…) and I could really use a cup right now. She also kept honey and her… what’s the right word?... Cottage? Cabin? Hut? Well, whatever you want to call the structure it was always open late at night and luckily I lived right next door to her.

I came to calling her “Voodoo Nurse Rhonda” because she liked to practice holistic medicine. There’s nothing wrong with holistic medicine itself; the idea is that using remedies that come from nature are better for you in the long run. I agree that some people tend to overmedicate and that can lead to a lot of problems. The Brevard Music Center was something of a summer camp and dehydration was the cause of most ailments there, therefore I understand why she was so big on telling everyone to drink more water. On the other hand, you practically had to steal ibuprofen from her medicine cabinet (that is if you actually believe she kept any actual pharmaceuticals on the premises.) When I got mono I first came in for what I thought was an ear infection. Then later it became tonsillitis from hell before we figured out what was causing the pain in my throat and ears. Her cure for the tonsillitis was a horrible demonic concoction of horseradish, ginger and several other secret herbs and spices designed to help kill the germs in my throat. Not only did I have to gargle the shit but I had to swallow it down, an idea so revolting that she had to keep extract of peppermint on the sink as smelling salts so I wouldn’t vomit it all back up again. (Which, by the way, would’ve tasted better than my “medicine.”)

…This entry doesn’t have a whole hell of a lot to do with Europe, but the tea made me think back on other times when I’ve been away from home and sick, so I thought I’d meditate on that for awhile. You’ll be happy to learn that my cold didn’t prevent me from going out and enjoying my very last Venice overnight. It rained all day yesterday so it was damn near freezing last night at the Orange Bar and everyone used to Caribbean cruises bundled up to face the weather. I only stayed for a bit, then marched my cold ass home to bed. Today I went out to lunch and shopping with Brad, the musician/singer at the piano bar. We got lunch at this great bistro and I had the most amazing lunch of pasta and mussels and shrimp and some other shellfish in a garlic butter sauce. Amazing! He also went to buy some necklaces as Christmas gifts and I had to finish off my shopping for my brother and dad. Then we ended up at this wine store Brad was raving about to try some strawberry wine. I’m not entirely sure if it was made from strawberries but it was a sweet red wine and it was the most amazing thing I have tasted. Julie had given me money to buy her a few bottles and I also bought some for myself and as gifts for my uncles.

Let’s see, what else. Sent in my absentee ballot last time we were in the home port of Civitavecchia. I don’t really feel like talking politics with anyone but I will say that I’ve had the song “Won’t Get Fooled Again” by The Who stuck in my head lately. That’s all I have to say about that.

Tentative date of departure as told to me by my boss-type-guy-in-the-office: December 28. Any bets on if it will change?

Holy crap my little brother is 20 today.

Happy birthday, kiddo!

Hi all,

We were in Venice a few nights back and we’re headed into Barcelona tomorrow, but unfortunately I’m back on port manning so I won’t be heading off the ship again until next cruise. While in Venice I went to go see an opera (don’t get too excited, it turned out to be not at all what I was expecting but still a very enjoyable experience) but I’ll talk about that night another time. Instead let me tell you a little bit about what happened this evening.

Today was a sea day, which means one of our big production shows. Tonight we did “Ticket to Ride” and I got to experience my first “not as planned” moment in awhile. About fifteen minutes ‘til places I received word from one of my back stage guys that one of them, Luis, will not be showing up for the performance. He was employee of the month in his department and was being treated to dinner with the captain. That would’ve been all well and good if we had been told about this, but the Staff Captain never sent us word. We had the manpower to be able to cover his track, but the problem came from the fact that none of us knew what he does during the show. We knew bit and pieces of his job but not every important detail. This led to some problems backstage when we tried to cover for him. I was running around moving his scenery, which meant I couldn’t keep an eye on the drops coming in and the backstage boys didn’t know where some of the props he set were kept. It was just a wee bit hectic. We made it through alright, but not without some problems.

Ok, a few problems. Basically the biggest thing was that I couldn’t watch out for our performers so we had to pull the guy from his dinner to come in for the second show. I felt bad but it was ridiculous and dangerous for them to cut one of our stagehands and not even tell us.

Anyways, so that's been my night tonight, with the exception of watching a bootleg copy of The Dark Knight with James and Josef and Alaine. We are without a movie theatre here so we sometimes resort to desperate measures. It was totally worth it. When I saw it I nearly died of awesome.

So last night was our overnight in Venice. I went out and saw an opera, but it wasn't really what I was expecting. Instead of a real theatre opera house it was more of an open room upstairs where they had set up folding chairs and a small platform with a few set pieces. It was still pretty cool though, and the lead soprano was amazing. Still, I wish they had had a projector with subtitles because it wasn't as easy to follow the plot as I had hoped. I had the synopsis, which amounted to about most of the plot of Moulin Rouge (roughly).

By the way, I have updated pictures from my time so far in Europe and since I've been having trouble posting the link on my other journal I figured I'd post an additional link here.

Hope everything's going well back in the states. I miss you all.

You know that feeling you get when your blood runs cold? I've gotten that twice in the last 24 hours.

...I fucking hate that feeling.

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go
I'm standing here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin, its early morn
The taxis waiting, he's blowin his horn
Already I'm so lonesome I could cry.

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go.
I'm leavin' on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go.

There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I tell you now, they don't mean a thing
Every place I go, I think of you
Every song I sing, I sing for you
When I come back, I'll wear your wedding ring.

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time let me kiss you
Then close your eyes, I'll be on my way.
Dream about the days to come
When I won't have to leave alone
About the times, I won't have to say...

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go.
I'm leavin' on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go.

I have a new laptop!

I also have:

1.) New shirts for work
2.) A very messy room
3.) A suitcase full of dirty clothes from last week in the Outer Banks
4.) Varying degrees of restlessness
5.) An open window to compensate for the broken Air Conditioning upstairs

I do not have:

1.) Any idea when my flight is leaving for Rome or other travel accomidations
2.) Any concept of how to figure out tax laws regarding international income
3.) A clue as to whether my paychecks will be directly deposited
4.) More than one month's supply of my Rx (hope I can get it on the ship...)
5.) A desire to call/e-mail and get these answers at this moment
6.) A working monitor on my old laptop so that I can access my old files*

I should also point out that my parents and other such folk have been asking that I keep some sort of online record of my travels in Europe and with this job. A general work/travel type blog where I can post pictures and people can read stories. I'm thinking of starting another livejournal for this account, but I'm not sure of a name for it yet.** I had some ideas, but I didn't really want to limit the name to dealing with Italy, the cruise, or anything European since I'm thinking of keeping the new journal as a general "this is where my current job takes me" sort of thing. ...Wow my sentences are deteriorating. Is it 1:30 already? Anyways if you have any names, let me know.

Alright, time for bed. I'd update more about my personal life but nothing much changes back at the ranch. Vacation post forthcoming.

*Don't suggest just plugging it into another monitor, the graphics card or hardware or something is screwy, last time the only way I got stuff out of it was in putting my hard drive in Bodi's machine with Linux booted up onto it and pulling stuff from the limited space on my memory stick. There's no easy way to fix this.

**Okay, so I'm leaning towards "royalewithcheese", because of the reference to the scene in Pulp Fiction where John Travolta shares interesting stories about his time spent in Europe and the culture differences. I do like the movie, but I'm leaning towards this mostly because I feel like those are the sort of stories I'd be sharing.

( I have a job! )

Also, exams just finished. I've been awake since 9:30am yesterday morning. I have not eaten today. I feel so damn tired and hungry and cranky and ready to collapse.

T -3 days 'til graduation.

I've been neglecting to post recently because my job offers are still in limbo. Hope to have news to post by the end of next week.

I'm still getting caught up on homework. I've got to work on my design projects as well as a few English reports and my Sondheim senior presentation that is locked away on my laptop. I don't know if I've mentioned this on here, but the monitor on my laptop is malfunctioning and causing me undue amounts of frustration.

Also, I had an interesting encounter with Godwin's Law recently. My boyfriend's RA has a dry-erase board outside his door so that residents can leave messages for him. It's sort of a community board. Well, in my infinite boredom I've been correcting the grammar of the messages that are posted. Little things. Punctuation, spelling, conjugation errors, that sort of thing. Not changing the messages or their intent, just the little details. Well, recently when I walked by there was another message on the board:

"wow, who corrects grammer on a college students board... ADOLF HITLER does!"

...to which I replied:

"Not anymore. He's been dead for quite some time now."

Frankly I'm very amused at the idea of Zombie-Hitler roaming the halls of Averett correcting the grammar of students. I'm even more amused to wonder if Hitler himself was very particular about grammar usage. I wonder if he cared. The comparison is so completely unrelated that it makes me crumble into a fit of giggles.

I feel like a linguistic vigilante. I wonder if I can get the head of the English department to get me a Zorro mask and cape.